Last Wednesday morning (about 4:30 am) I awoke to a phone call from my sister and mom that my grandmother, Raggie (her nickname given by yours truly and the name most people call her), had passed away. This was expected but still difficult. Thankfully she died peacefully in her sleep next to Grandpa. She was 92 and was an amazing woman! Spencer and I drove up to Virginia to be with family and attend the funeral on Monday morning. The following is what I shared at the funeral.
“Raggie”…just speaking her name conjures up so many deep and sweet emotions for all of us who love her. She was quite a woman! Life was always sweeter in the presence of Raggie. In the words of my mom, “she was tough and tender all at the same time.”
Because I grew up in a military family we moved around often so family was one of the only constant things over the years. And no matter where Dad was stationed in the military Grandpa and Raggie were there visiting often. As we’ve been looking through old photo albums the last few days it hasn’t been hard to find pictures of Grandpa and Raggie. Wherever we lived, they came!
Grandpa & Raggie are a beautiful example to all of us of marriage and oneness. Scripture says that, “…a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they will become one flesh.” Grandpa and Raggie have been a living example of that one fleshness. They truly are a beautiful unit…it’s unclear where one stops and the other begins. I’m so thankful for the example of marriage they’ve given to me.
When I think about my 33 years of life I can’t think of a time or place where Raggie was not. She is weaved all the way through my life and she has left a huge mark. She was there from birthdays and potty training to graduations and wedding day. When I felt on the mountain top she was there cheering me on. When I was down trodden she was there giving counsel and tears. She knew how to laugh hard with you and yet she would be the first to cry with you when life was tough. She had a way of making you feel like you were her favorite….and yet you knew that we all felt that way. She could make an ordinary event or gathering spectacular just by being herself.
One of my favorite pastimes with Raggie is playing cards. She taught me to love games and I could always count on Raggie to pick up a deck of cards and go play for hours. During those card games we would talk about life…there was nothing that was off limits to discuss.
Raggie adored her family and would give her life to show help and support. This love and care for her children has not returned to her void. She raised a son and a daughter (and had 5 others that she never got to meet here on earth) who have cared for her so well in her last years. As my Uncle Bob (her son) said the other day, “we’ve been gradually losing Raggie in pieces over the last few years.” It has been hard and yet such an honor to watch my Uncle and my Mom care for their parents. My Mom has daily laid down her own life to selflessly care for her aging mother. I’m still amazed at how she did that. It has been such a picture of Jesus’ love for us in how He laid His life down for us on the Cross. I know that there will be great eternal reward for you Mom, you have yet again set a high example to us all.
On Thursday, September 22nd I kissed my Raggie good-bye for the last time before driving back to South Carolina. The kids and I had been at the nursing home visiting and we were out in the foyer with Grandpa and I walked back to Raggie’s room alone to say good-bye to her. We had a very sweet moment together. It was one of those moments when God felt so near. God was so kind to give me this last moment with Raggie. We talked about dying and going to heaven. We talked about Jesus and how He is the way and the truth and the life. We talked about how salvation comes through Jesus and His death on the cross and not our good works. Just like I need to hear these truths often I reminded Raggie that it is by faith in Jesus that we are counted righteous before God and not by works. Left to ourselves none of us would be acceptable to God. And then I reminded her of what awaits those who know Jesus….that God himself “will wipe away every tear from your eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore!” What a great hope we have in Jesus. And to end I’d like to paraphrase Proverbs 31:28-29 “We rise up and call you blessed Raggie; Grandpa too, he praises you. Many women have done excellently, but you surpass them all.”
