Big Girl

On Wednesday night we took the plunge and transitioned Lydia to a big girl bed. I've wanted to do this for awhile now but we haven't been able to get her a twin bed yet and then I was put on bedrest so it had to wait. But now, in order for me to be at a place where I can care for the kids by myself without lifting Lydia, we had to get her into a bed! We still don't have a bed set up in Bryn's room for her so our temporary solution is for Lydia to sleep in Carson's bed and for Carson to sleep on the bed in the bonus room (so I don't have to walk up the stairs multiple times a day). We put a step stool at the end of the bed so she can crawl up and out of the bed by herself. She must have been so ready for this transition because she has done so good! I haven't even had to go in to check on her. She has gone right to sleep and stays in her bed until we hear her in the morning. Yay! So far so good!

Update

I had another check up today at the high risk office. It was a pretty quick ultrasound to just look at the area of concern and to check my cervix. The ultrasound tech didn't say too much but did mention that my cervix looked good and that there was still clotted blood that is expected so overall I took that as good news. I went to speak with the doctor but a nurse came in and said he was tied up with surgery at the hospital. So the nurse said I need to come back in 2 weeks for another check up. I asked her about bedrest and if I could have more freedom. And thankfully she is allowing me to do a little more! Yay! I can now drive, get out , go up stairs a couple times a day...etc. I still can't travel out of town, lift anything heavy, or exert a lot of energy. I've already thought through strategies to avoid picking up Lydia (and starting tonight she will be moved to a big girl bed!). This week will be a practice week while my Mom is still here. She said I still need to be sitting and laying down as much as I can throughout the day. I'm so thankful to be able to go to church and see people! The challenge now will be keeping my expectations right and having a plan so that I don't overdo it. I'm thankful that Carson is such a big help and that we really don't have a lot of obligations during the week. I'm also so thankful for the meals that have been coming a couple times a week. That is a huge help! So there is the update for today! Very thankful!

Today the baby is...

...the length of a carrot.

Happy Birthday Carson

It's hard to believe that 6 years have passed since Carson was born on September 26th, 2004! We are so thankful for this boy and what a blessing he has been to our lives. It is a joy to continue to discover who he is. I love seeing more and more of his personality come out the older he gets. Here are some of my favorite things about Carson at age 6....

• I love his flexibility and laid back nature
• I love his love for people
• I love his serious and focused side
• I love his ability to figure things out and see how things are put together
• I love his bond with and love for his daddy
• I love how he can play independently
• I love his quest for knowledge and his thoughtful questions
• I love when he is gentle and good to his sisters

Papa & Nana gave Carson this batman lego type toy and he spent all afternoon one day last week putting it together. This is a great example of how he stays focused and seems to have a natural ability to see how things are put together. I enjoyed watching him complete this project.

This is a bad picture but it shows Jeremy & Carson by the tent last Thursday night. They camped out in the back yard for his birthday. They had a campfire, a hunt in the woods, and even got woken up in the night from hearing the bobcat! It was a sweet time for them.
We had a birthday party dinner on Saturday night to celebrate. Carson chose the menu for his birthday dinner. He chose pizza hut pizza, salad, pigs in a blanket, and cheese on crackers.
Grandpa & Grammy gave Carson a power tool set. Carson is very interested in fixing things and using tools so this was a perfect gift for him.

Happy 6th Birthday Carson! We love you!

Missing our Bryn

This week Nana (Jeremy's mom) has taken good care of us and we are so thankful for her help during this time. Meanwhile Bryn has been in Virginia with my parents and stayed at their house for a few nights and then went to my sister's house for a few nights. I just got these pictures from my sister that show some of what they've been up to the last few days. My sister does an in-home day care so Bryn got to join in their pre-school activities while she was there. My parents and Bryn will be back on Saturday. I miss my girl!

Bryn & her cousin Ainsley

Bryn got to go to gymnastics class with Ainsley
On Thursday they went to an Apple Orchard in Charlottesville
Pre-school time

Christianity and Politics

I'm a little nervous to even write a post about this topic and yet I feel compelled to pass along this great sermon by Mark Dever to encourage others on this topic. Anyone who knows me well knows how I dislike (OK...often despise) politics and debates related to politics. I'm not entirely sure why this is. It could be related to the fact that I grew up hearing healthy (yet often heated) debates about politics and and my peacemaker childhood self couldn't handle it so I grew up running from any political discussion. I'm not sure what the big turn off was for me that has brought me to such a place of distaste for politics in any form. This is not to say that I'm proud of where I am. I'm in fact often ashamed and embarrassed at my lack of knowledge concerning our history, government, and politics....and that certainly adds to my silence and "head in the sand" response. I know I should be more aware and informed when it comes to politics but I'm yet to be motivated enough to invest the time and energy to be more engaged. I do often think about my kids getting older and how I shouldn't stay where I am on this subject. I desire to discuss with them all areas of life and to do this humbly yet well-informed to encourage and influence them through life. One thing is sure though, I have a really hard time when Christians get more passionate about their political views then the gospel of Jesus Christ or when Christians assume that all Christians need to associate with a particular political party or when people (Christians and non-Christians alike) are turned off by the church because of political issues and division....(need I go on?). All this has certainly attributed to my dislike of politics. I love how Dever says, "We, as a congregation, resist identifying the gospel with any particular nation or any political party."

All this to say (sorry for the tangent) when I saw this sermon by Mark Dever entitled "Jesus Paid Taxes" from Mark 12:13-17 recommended on several blogs today I knew I should take a listen. I'm so glad I did. It was refreshing and very insightful and a good start for me to grow in this area of engaging and thinking rightly about politics and government. I highly encourage you to listen to it here. I'm also seeing the book "City of Man: Religion and Politics in a New Era" by Michael Gerson and Peter Wehner recommended as well. I think this book could be a good next step for me.

Half Way!

Today is the half way mark of the pregnancy! The baby is as long as a banana, 10 inches from head to heal. I'm definitely growing and feeling the baby a lot now. I love that! I go for a normal check up on Friday with my regular OB and then a week from tomorrow I will go back to the high risk OB for another ultrasound check up. I really hope I can come off bedrest at that time but of course will listen to the doctor and do whatever is necessary for this baby. I've been thinking about the day we will see him face to face more lately. I look forward to that day. God is teaching me about waiting and trusting Him for all things. That's one thing about bedrest, there isn't as much temptation to take credit for things in my life. It's easier to see my need for God and evidence of His gracious work as I sit and watch life happen around me. I'm continuing to fight to believe that this time is profitable and good for me and my family. God's plans are always better then we deserve and always for our good. Please continue to pray for the health of this baby and endurance as we await his arrival!

Update on Pregnancy

Today I had another anatomy ultrasound at my check up appointment. I am so thankful to say that there was only good news! Praise God! Our little man looks good and healthy and is staying quite busy in there. He moved around the whole time. He weighs right at 10 oz. today. The area of the tear looks much better too. There is still a little clotting of blood which is to be expected as it continues to heal. They seem very encouraged and pleased at the healing already. They said multiple times how much better it looks now then a few weeks ago. I'm so thankful that this time of bed rest is proving to be profitable! I will return to my regular OB next week and the high-risk OB in 2 weeks for another check up. The doctor did tell me to stay on bed rest these next 2 weeks but gave me a little more specifics and freedom to sit up and change positions throughout the day at home. I'm hopeful with each check up to be given more freedom to come off bed rest gradually. Thank you so much for praying! We are so thankful that our baby is doing well and that the placenta is healing. Here are some pictures of our little guy from today.

Today the baby is...

...the size of an heirloom tomato.

God is jealous

This is today's morning reading for Morning & Evening by Charles Spurgeon. I hope it blesses you like it has me.

Your Lord is very jealous of your love, believer. Did He choose you? He cannot bear that you should choose another. Did He buy you with His own blood? He cannot endure that you should think that you are your own or that you belong to this world. He loved you with such a love that He would not stop in heaven without you; He would sooner die than see you perish. He cannot endure anything standing between your heart's love and Himself. He is very jealous of your trust. He will not permit you to trust in an arm of flesh. He cannot bear that you should hew out broken cisterns, when the overflowing fountain is always free to you. When we lean on Him, He is glad; but when we transfer our dependence to another, when we rely on our own wisdom or the wisdom of a friend - worst of all, when we trust in any works of our own- He is displeased and will chasten us so that He may bring us to Himself. He is also very jealous of our company. There should be no one with whom we converse as much as with Jesus. To abide in Him only is true love; but to commune with the world, to find sufficient solace in our carnal comforts, or to prefer even the society of our fellow Christians to intimate time with Him, this is grievous to our jealous Lord. He is happy to have us abide in Him and enjoy constant fellowship with Him. Many of the trials that He sends us are for the purpose of weaning our hearts from the creature and fixing them more closely on Him. Let this jealousy, which would keep us near to Christ, also be a comfort to us; for if He loves us so much as to care thus about our love, we may be sure that He will not allow anything to harm us, and He will protect us from all our enemies. Oh, that we may have grace this day to keep our hearts in sacred chastity for our Beloved alone, with sacred jealousy shutting our eyes to all the fascinations of the world!

Around Here

I've officially been on bed rest for a little over 2 weeks now. I have to say it's going well considering the inconvenience of the situation. And this is why....I have an amazing husband and an amazing Mom!!!!!! They are together taking good care of me, the kids, and the house. Watching them reminds me what a big job it really is to run a house and raise a family. The chores and needs are constant. Mom has been serving our family joyfully for a week and a half now. We are blessed by her in so many ways! The kids have done great too. They really are so resilient and seem pretty understanding that Mommy is on bed rest. I am trusting that this time is for their good too. I'm also so thankful for those that have helped in such tangible ways to coordinate meals, bring meals, pick up groceries, bring lunch to me, and more! What a blessing! We are making it by the grace of God. We are all making sacrifices for this little boy already...and he is worth it! I'm thankful that these circumstances are for a very good cause. Lord-willing in 5 months we'll meet our baby boy and this will become a distant blur that was well worth it!

I was reading Carson a book in the bed and he fell asleep. He hasn't been taking naps for a few months now but looks like he needed one this day. I left him there and he slept for an hour.
The Finleys have let us borrow their lawn chair so I can get some time outside and stay reclined. That has been so helpful to get outside and watch the kids play.

But God...

Our church is studying through the book of Ephesians. This morning I looked at Ephesians 2:1-10. I love this passage because it is one of the clearest passages on the gospel. Verses 1-3 clearly describe who we (all mankind) are by nature without Christ. Apart from God we are...

dead in the trespasses and sins we once walked

following the course of this world
following the prince of the power of the air

sons of disobedience

living in the passions of our flesh
carrying out the desires of the body and the mind
by nature children of wrath

Then Paul utters the greatest short phrase in the history of human speech....
BUT GOD...
being rich in mercy (who he is)
because of the great love with which he loved us (why he did the following)
even when we were dead in our trespasses (when he did this)
made us alive together with Christ (first thing he did)
by grace you have been saved (how he did this)
and raised us up with him (second thing he did)
and seated us with him in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus (third thing he did)
so that in the coming ages he might show the immeasurable riches of his grace in kindness toward us in Christ Jesus. (why he did this)

"It will take all of eternity to fathom God's love, and those who are saved will never plumb the depths of it." - ESV study bible footnote for verse 7

The Good News....
"For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, not a result of works, so that no one may boast. For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them." - Ephesians 2:8-10

So what does it all mean...
- I am saved by grace
- I am saved through faith
- Salvation is not my doing
- Salvation is the gift of God
- Salvation is not a result of my works
- There is no room for boasting in myself (verses 1-3 should remind me of that)
- I am his workmanship
- I was created in Christ Jesus for good works
- God prepared these good works beforehand
- I should walk in these good works

May we be encouraged by the gospel today!

Today the baby is...

...the length of a bell pepper

"Labor" Day

Today is the day our baby was due to be born that we lost in March. I would much rather be in the hospital in labor today.

Today is another day in grieving the loss of that baby that we never got to hold in our arms. It's amazing how I still love that baby so much and yet never knew him/her (I think it was a girl).

There are emotions today that are hard to explain.

I do believe that God's plans prevail and that they are always for my good and His glory as He is conforming me more and more to the image of His Son. But today I'm reminded of how His plans can hurt and come with much pain.

In many ways I'm eager for this day, September 6, 2010, to be behind me and to trust God to continue to heal the pain of losing that baby. I know I'll never forget this baby and this season but I trust that joy will come in the morning.

And what a blessing on this day to sit here and as I write feeling the sweet movements of that baby's little brother. Thank you Jesus!

update on pregnancy

I just returned home after my appointment with the high risk doctor this morning. I was so thankful to have my mom there with me! I first had an ultrasound to look at the tear/bloody area and the good news is that there isn't any new blood and it seems to be healing. The baby looked great and his heartbeat was good. Then we went to talk with the doctor and he said that things looked pretty good and he was pleased that I haven't had a lot of symptoms (bleeding/signs of infection) but he is still "playing it safe" and leaning on the conservative side. So he wants to see me back in 2 weeks and still wants me on strict bed rest until then. Then he added that I should view the bed rest as a long term thing! He mentioned that once I get to 28 weeks (November 15th) and if things look good with the placenta and cervix that we could maybe come off then. It sounds like the greatest "risks" right now are infection because of the blood and the potential of my body going into labor. So he gave me some antibiotics to take this week to help prevent and help if I were to get an infection.

I'm still a little numb to this news and probably in shock that this is happening. But I'm also trusting in God's good plan and that this is part of that. There is so much to be thankful for in the midst of this challenge. My Mom is such a blessing and I'm so thankful she can be here for now. I'm also so thankful for Jeremy who is solid and steady and so capable. And I'm so thankful for my church family who are eager to serve. Please pray for us as we work on a "plan" for how to handle this. I so appreciate your prayers for me, the baby, and our family. Please continue!

Another added blessing this week is that I'm feeling the baby daily and those kicks are getting stronger! I'm thankful for that reassurance. How I wish I could fast forward to February and hold this baby!