Trusting

"Remember the former things of old; for I am God, and there is no other, I am God, and there is none like me, declaring the end from the beginning and from ancient times things not yet done, saying, "My counsel shall stand, and I will accomplish all my purpose." (Isaiah 46:9-10)

I have been reminded and am so thankful that our God is an omnipotent God who is able to do all his holy will and therefore I can say with Job, "I know that you can do all things, and that no purpose of yours can be thwarted." (Job 42:2) And because He does according to His will, "none can stay his hand or say to him, "What have you done?" (Daniel 4:35)

So as we grieve the loss of our baby, I'm finding much comfort, confidence and peace in knowing that God's ultimate will is never frustrated so there is peace and confidence in the face of this suffering as we trust God. I'm so thankful to be spared of much anger and guilt that could arise as we grieve. This is a gracious gift from God in the suffering!

And although I can say with the psalmist, "I am weary with my moaning; every night I flood my bed with tears; I drench my couch with my weeping. My eye wastes away because of grief;" (Psalm 6:6-7a) I can also say "I know, O Lord, that your rules are righteous, and that in faithfulness you have afflicted me. Let your steadfast love comfort me, according to your promise to your servant. Let your mercy come to me, that I may live; for your law is my delight." (Psalm 119:75-77)

Please pray for me specifically in the area of sleep. I had a hard night last night not being able to fall asleep and then struggling with my sadness and thoughts during the night. Please pray that I would sleep peacefully tonight!

Blessed Be Your Name

As many of you know by now, we found out this past Friday that our baby (due in September) had died about 3 weeks ago. I went in for my routine 16 week appointment and there was no heartbeat. There are no words to describe the pain we are feeling because of this loss. We are heartbroken and grieving the loss of this baby that we already loved so much. I had a procedure done on Monday to remove the baby and it all went as good as could be expected. I'm very glad that is behind me. I know there will be more sad days before us but I am also experiencing the sustaining grace of my God and His nearness to me in this difficult time. Everything changes when we believe God is who He says He is. I'm so thankful for my Heavenly Father and how He has shown me His kindness, mercy, grace, and love already and I trust He will continue. I think it will do me good to continue to share my thoughts with you through this blog. There is much I'm processing and clinging to during this time. Jeremy and I have been very humbled and blessed by all the prayers, love, and support from family, friends, and church family. Thank you! We feel your prayers and your comfort! For now, I encourage you to listen to this song (Matt Redman's "Blessed Be Your Name") that I'm meditating on and singing in my heart to God.

Mom's Birthday weekend in DC

For Mom's 60th birthday she requested her whole family be together in a city to celebrate for a whole weekend doing fun things together. Now that's my kind of party! So we all (12 of us) met in Washington DC last Friday and stayed together in a house for 3 nights and enjoyed so many fun things during our time there. Jeremy was also in DC but was attending a conference with Ken & Jason so he missed out on a lot of the fun and we missed him! Here are some pictures of all the fun things we did this weekend. It was so fun and we all feel quite honored that mom would want to spend her birthday hanging out with us! We love you Mom/Grammy!!!!

We all met up on Friday at the Zoo. Here is Grammy with Ainsley and Bryn.

Lydia and I at the Zoo

This is a famous Grampa hold so it's so fun for me to see him hold my girls this way. I can remember sitting on that shoulder once upon a time!

On Saturday we went to the Big Apple Circus and it was so fun!

It was equally fun watching the kids' faces as they watched the show.

After the circus we went to Uncle Bob & Pat's house (they live outside of DC) to celebrate mom's birthday. Jeremy was able to join us for this time because he had some free time during his conference. Here is Grammy with all her grand kids.

On Sunday we spent most of the day at the American History Museum and the Natural History Museum. Here we are in front of one of the museums. We had perfect weather!


At the very end of our time the girls all sacked out in their strollers. So cute!

On our way out of town Sunday we visited the Air & Space Museum

It was a great weekend! Thank you Mom & Dad for a great weekend together! We treasure the memories made this weekend! Love you lots!

Visiting Michael at work

While staying at mom and dad's in Yorktown we drove over to Gloucester one afternoon to see where my brother works. He is an attorney and works at the Gloucester Courthouse. We enjoyed the tour and meeting most of his coworkers. And Michael also arranged for a surprise for the kids (below).

In the court room...Michael trying to tell Carson what "court" means

Michael had one of the deputies come to show the kids his car, they loved it!

My criminal kids in the back of the police car

Michael and I in front of the courthouse

Visiting Grandpa & Raggie

Last Tuesday we drove up to Yorktown, VA to visit my parents, brother, and grandparents (who are now living in a nursing home) for a few nights. I have been very eager to get up there to visit my grandparents since they've moved to the nursing home so I was so glad to go see them! Here are a few pictures from our visits with them at the nursing home.

We had dinner with them at the nursing home one evening to celebrate Grandpa & Raggie's anniversary. They have been married for 68 years! Truly amazing, and they are still so loving towards one another!

Carson and Bryn sang a few songs for Grandpa & Raggie after we ate (it was so funny!).

The happy couple!

Saying goodbye to Grandpa & Raggie, I love them so much!

Highlights from the week

Here are some things we've been up to this week...

Playing Aggravation

Playing Ka-Razy Kickball with the college students

Monkey Joe's with Allyson, Kevin & Kolson

Play group at the park

Babysitting for the Finley kiddos & playing twister

Grateful

I was recently reminded, and quite humbled, at how blessed Jeremy and I are that both our parents are still married to their first and only spouse...and happily married at that! Sadly, this is an extreme rarity these days. My heart breaks for the devastation of marriage and family in our culture. It is so sad to watch the painful affects of divorce on the children and grandchildren. I watch first hand how the pain of parents' divorces does not go away with time, it becomes a lifelong ache that the children wrestle to deal with.

So, I've been reminded at how grateful I am to have parents and in-laws (and all grandparents on both sides!) who have fought the good fight of staying married and honored their marriage vows! Your children and grandchildren thank you! You are heroes and worthy to be followed! We are so blessed by the pure fact that you have stayed together! Thank you for giving us a precious gift to follow and for sparing us the pain of having to prematurely explain to our children divorce and remarriage and having up to 8 "grandparent" sets to take our children to. We are beyond blessed and today we say THANK YOU!!!